《Chat Heads》

…
can I call you
like tonight
or tomorrow after your tuition
or anytime you can

We can't meet each other
I can't look into your eyes
but at least let me hear your voice
I don't know what will I say or stuff
I tried to think of what will I say if I called you
but I can't
but I feel like once I hear your voice
something will pop out of my head
I believe

speaking of meet up
actually I can meet you with a little planing
all you need to do is tell me when and where you're hanging out with your friends then we will somehow meet "coincidentally"
…
just sayin
I've been thinking about this kind of stuffs

ok back to the topic
I know what you're afraid of
because yes I'm also afraid of those
"what if I met the other girl"
"what if she gave up"
"what if her parents find out again"

but as I once told someone
we could leave all the pains to the future after it happened
not before it happened and just make ourselves sad and nervous
sure, everything is possible and we need some prepare
but to be prepared is not to be over worried

if someday I really would meet another girl
that would just mean she is better than you
which I don't think she exist by now
and if someday you give up
that would just mean you've found someone better than me
and that's fine by me
as long as you tell me
that you're gonna give up
and you've find your next boy

and if by chance someday
your parents call me again
I won't be weak as last time
and by "weak" I mean not to talk back
I won't just agree like an idiot
I'll fight with all my will this time
you know
mature kind of fight
not quarrel or stuffs
but debate and calm analyses

my point is
I'm prepared for everything and anything
that could happen
actually including your affair thingy
I don't know if its suitable to call it an affair
cause we're not really couples
but I can't find other word to describe it
lol
I mean
I actually feel like something like this would happen soon after you disconnected with me
and I'm totally prepared
but the mental tackle when it actually happened
is way beyond my imagination
all I can think about is
"is he better than me"
even after you said you broke up with him
and you have no more feelings on him
I'll still think
"then is he better than me"
some shit like that

my real-point is
I know you're afraid but so do I
but life is all about taking risks
isn't it
If you leave the choice to me
I'll always choose to stay
this should be what I proved enough for the last three years
you know I'll always stay
but to leave me or not its up to you
cause eventually I'll need to learn to live without you
so that even when someday you are sleeping on my bed
I can be the one you can fully rely on
and not the one who need you to take care of
because what I want to
is to become your man
not your boy

but you tho
will always be my girl
always