《Cellophane》

I'm back.

so where am I just now?
oh yeah
unilife.

I stopped for 10 minutes there.
can't really think of anything more to say
so I'll just move on then.

but move on to what?
I don't know
maybe no
there's no more things for me to complain about

but that's even more frustrating
why am I so blessed
when I'm not worthy at all.
what did I do to deserve a life like this?
I mean I've got enough money and there's a good career waiting for me out there
I've got talents that people get envy of
I've got so many things
my life is fucking smooth as hell
I did so many wonderful things
I got good results
going to the schools many people dreamed of
owning a car, live in a big house

and shit
I'm still complaining about all the blessings from who-knows-real-or-not GOD
sometimes I wonder
if god really created this world
why don't he create it wonderfully
I mean I know how the Christian and Buddhist and every religions' saying
like how we carry sins
or to return the debts and revenging or stuffs
I know all this
but what my question about is that
why didn't all the gods
create a wonderful place AT THE BEGINNING ?
why is there debts and vengeance AT THE FIRST PLACE?
I don't know man
why they created human with the need of eating and breathing
why they create us to be able to see and hear
why
just why

that's why I don't really believe in religions
cause they give crappy answers and distract people from the real question
and most of the time religion IS the reason of quarrel and wars and stuffs
because human fight for what they believe
some fight for the "truth"
some fight for the god
but they all can't deny that
they are just fighting for themselves
they are scared
those pity human
they are just afraid of losing faith
they beat other people's belief and stuffs
to prove that they are "right"
they are the "chosen ones"
that's why I hate those over-religious human
not exactly "hate"
but kinda "antipathy" ( yes I google translated this word, new word learnt )

when those over-religious human
rejecting their loved ones for religion reasons
rejecting other people's belief
overly praise their Gods
idolize their Gods
hating those who hate their religion
hating those who have no feelings of their religion

much more examples

that's what I'm thinking about
"human created religion to find some where to rely on in their mind"
but what they really did?
is "moving the wars in reality to their mind and fight there"
and sometime "the war in their mind came out and become real war again"
it's like delaying the fight
but the fight is, somehow inevitable
sometimes it came in the way of debating (which I prefer more)
sometimes it become a small fights
sometimes it become wars
this is human.
If there truly are any God at all
they will just shake their heads
and sigh on these pity human.




shit I went too far is it.
where was I ?

oh yeah.

why am I, while having this wonderful life, still complaining about everything?

well

maybe it's because I don't really believe in any God
so I'll never get satisfied
cause I'm a greedy-yet-useless piece of shit
but at the mean time
why me, a fucking fat guy, who don't believe in god,
is scared of death and ghosts?

maybe I'm just too ignorant
or should I just say I'm an fucking asshole

so the compilation all together?




I'm a fucking ignorant irresponsible lazy useless piece of fucking shitty asshole who complain about the existence of Gods but still afraid of death and ghost and blame it on those ancient human when it's actually my own bloody problem.





wow.
my English seems improved a lot.
should I thank God now?
if it is,
then thank you.


pft.